Its been almost six months since my last post. I’ve been busy, but truthfully, I have felt discouraged and I didn’t feel like I was making much progress with my premature ejaculation or that anything was really changing. I didn’t feel like writing “Ok, nothing new”, so I just decided not to write. It’s not that I was doing nothing, but that what was happening wasn’t that interesting and whatever was going on (or not) certainly didn’t warrant intermediate updates.
In my previous post, I talked about how my wife had suggested that I find some new books on premature ejaculation. Since the books I had were not helping as much as I needed, I took her advice and strolled through amazon.com. I searched for “premature ejaculation” and eventually I settled on three new books:
- Stop Premature Ejaculation and Learn to Control Male Orgasm by Dan Junot
- Lasting Longer:The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation by Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.
- How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild) by Barbara Keesling
I wanted to write a review on each of them, so I dove into the first one by Dan Junot as soon as it arrived. I burned through it to get to the exercises. His approach is to have you masturbate with your entire hand wrapped around your erection and to slide you hand all the way down to the base then all of the way up off the tip, so you get the full stimulation sensation like you would during sex. I have never masturbated like that since it would be far too arousing to control; however, since it is part of the program and Dan Junot promised success, I knew I had to do it. Well, apparently I have sensitive penis skin also, because the pain was EXCRUCIATING! It felt like I was masturbating with course sandpaper, or a handful of sand from the beach. Or maybe broken glass. I felt like I was peeling layers of skin off of my penis like you might shave the skin off of a carrot. After one of the early sessions I looked down fully expecting to see my penis raw and bleeding. It took all of my strength to keep going with the exercises.
At some point, it got a little bit better, and I was able to focus on other things that were happening. I couldn’t consistently last for the required 15 minutes without losing control, and I eventually realized that the problem was that my sex muscles were jumping around and contracting the entire time. With enough contractions, I lose control.
Since I had succeeded in partially numbing the skin of my penis, I decided that the problem was that I have over active nerves. That explanation would fit most of the premature ejaculation symptoms that I have. So I headed to the web and searched for “over active nervous system”. The first set of search results was full of pages on over active nervous systems, and they all agreed on the solution. What is the solution? Sit, relax, and breathe for 30 to 60 minutes per day – the exact same advice I continue to come across for treating premature ejaculation.
I was furious. Livid. I almost put my fist through the computer screen. (I am getting pissed off just thinking about this now.) How is it possible that I have to spend an hour of my day just stilling still – doing nothing – just to make my penis work? I can GUARANTEE you that there is no cheese-eating, screwing anything that moves, 25-year-old porn star that is spending 1 hour a day just sitting still so he can perform on camera. I pretty sure no guy my wife ever dated sat around doing nothing for an hour a day just to be normal. I am pretty sure no one I know is sitting around doing nothing for an hour a day. Just to have a normal penis.
So that was it. Relax and breathe. It took me several days to get over the anger and decide to try it. Relax and breathe. There was nothing to write about. Relax and breathe. Who wants to read that I spent another 30 minutes breathing? Relax and breathe. So I didn’t write anything.
Relax and breathe.
That’s all that was going on until I received an encouraging note…