We are back on a schedule for sex. Sometime early last fall, my wife and I were talking about my premature ejaculation and my wife made the comment “The problem is that you need to have sex on a regular basis. We should plan it and put it on the calendar. That way we make sex a priority in our marriage and we are sure that you have a chance to practice. If it is important, we need to schedule it.”
I was kind of amazed. We tried this about two years ago and had some brief success; however, it didn’t last very long. At the time, my wife was not into it and didn’t like the idea of having set times to have sex, so after a couple of weeks, we stopped the schedule. (I didn’t report about it because it was kind of depressing and I couldn’t get myself motivated to write.) My wife didn’t remember our previous effort, but since she suggested it this time, I was all on board!
Since it was her idea, I let her dictate the terms. In our previous effort, I set up a sort of rotating schedule. She simplified it and suggested we set aside Friday, Sunday, and Tuesday nights to have sex (with other nights optional), and that we plan our schedules around it. Our regular activities are on other nights, and we don’t plan anything on sex nights unless we’ve talked about it and planned a make-up night.
It has been at least six months now, and we are still sticking with the schedule. It is working out quite nicely, actually. She is ready, willing, and engaged and often reminds me of it early in the day. I know when to expect it and when I will get dedicated time with my wife. We’ve been very busy lately, so the schedule allows us to be intentional and proactive about spending time together and connecting sexually. It’s been really good for us.
So the schedule seems to be working really well for us right now. I don’t know how long we will stick to it, but so far so good. Sex is important to our marriage. We schedule other important activities, and now we schedule sex too!